Bye bye

So neer the end of work Scot came in and talked to me while I closed. Then I went over to Hannah's cause she saved me some deviled eggs from dinner :) what a sweet thoughtfull friend she is! :) haha. I told her how Scot came into work and she went off about how she thinks about him on a daily bases, and she really just wants to know what she ever did to him. I told her to send him a txt with all her feelings and thoughts. She sent him like 9 or so cause he wasn't responding. But he was txting me back about our plans for Monday, even tho he knew I was going to her house. We watched Sweet Home Alabama, what a cute movie! And then I went home to get some sleep. Just before I went to sleep Scot decided to ask me what all the txt from Hannah was about. I told him:
I don't want to get in the middle of it, you're both being very good to me about it all. But she has a very very valid point. None's asking you to be her friend, just give her the truth. I don't care if you think people can't handle the truth, it's ALWAYS best. (or something along thoes lines)
He said it wasn't going to change anything.
NO ONE FREAKING said it had to! How in the hell does he know that?! He dosen't know SHIT about people! He secludes himself from the world!!  That's another thing I cannot stand about him, it's always just him and I... or our families. I want to be able to meet people, experience things, and if a boy doesn't want to do that with me then top reason not to date him.
So I told him that I was leaving everything in his hand. Thank you for showing me that all males are the same, know it alls. And that I want NOTHING to do with them as fare a marriage goes. And that it wouldn't be hard for me to say good bye to him, since he's no difference than the others. Little did I know Hannah had txted him saying grow some fucking balls or your going to lose her.
The next day (Monday) didn't go well either. After telling me that he had the whole day free, he yet AGAIN had something to do, OOO but he wanted me to come with him. WTF?! Why does my opinion not matter?! I don't want to go to a dinner at your friends parents house where the mother is a physico who hates my family. But no, it's what he wanted to do. And it was more important. SO he decided that he'd meet me after 7, what ever fine I had shit to get done any way. 7 rools around and no word from Scot.
"sorry we haven't eaten yet we just made the food, this is why I wanted you to come."
This wasn't in our agenda, it's not what I wanted to do. I'm not comfortable with it. And I don't mean to sound selfish but it's a repetitious paturn, and I'm so done with it. I made other plans and ditched him. I went to a movie with Hannah and Cole. Cole is such a stress reliever, he just gets things. He knows how this world works. But for some reason, I'm not attached to him in any emotional matter.
 
Is there something wrong with me? Why do I always find myself attracted to the screw ups? That's not true always... maybe it's why I was so in love with Austin, cause he was the closest thing to normal I had interested in. It's like a family trait, all the women back to my mothers mom got married to mentals. Grandma's friends aren't even very close to sanity. Love that women to death, but she just can't pick them. It's like out need to help the world or something, lost souls you know?? I remember how mad Austin would make me, other the littlist things that showed me he was like my father. I think that's my greatest fear, endeing up like my mom and dad. I definitely have male security issues, among being an independent female.
Any way, the rest of the night went well and it was nice to be around sain people. Altho Hannah laughs at goor...odd girl. And I've decided I'm going to stop talking to Scot, I don't know any one in this world I fight with more often. He's shown me how not worth it I am to him, so I'm going to leave him with a tast of his own medicine. Frankly I don't think he will care, all the more easy this will be. I'm not going to come craweling back like I did before. Even a retard don't burn it's hand 3 times. Besides acording to Camron he's got another 'babe', what a player. Guess I can't be talking... I haven't told him the hole truth about Cole. OR Brandon... yea... OPS. I just didn't feel like it was something I could talk to him about.
ANYWAY, I'd say this is all just me. But I can have normal friend ships and don't freek out at others like I do him. So it's obvious our chemistry just aint flying. I've got a life to live so I'm saying peace.


Sotoday after getting to bed around 3, 6 am awake. school at 8. Home by 11. Eat, chat, naps, work. AND a movie with my little siblings. Gots to love my family, well 98% of them. Now I'm going to study for a final, and get my but to bed! Latter cyber world.